I’ve just come back from the gym; I’ve being doing deadlifts!  I am so much stronger now, mentally, and physically.  My abuser always said I was weak.  I was brought up with three brothers, I am anything but weak.

 

I can’t put into words just how much of a positive impact the refuge has had on my life and on my children’s lives and on lives around me.  Being distanced from it now, I feel really warm inside when I think about the time me, and my children spent there.  I suppose if I’m totally honest, I never expected to feel this way.  I always anticipated reflecting back to that time and it being painful but it’s quite the opposite actually.  I understand so clearly now how living in the refuge started my healing and just how every single person I encountered there, contributed positively to my recovery, my new life.

 

I used to feel so tired back then, but I recognise I was mentally stressed.  I was so afraid at that time too.   

 

Staff at the refuge would listen, without judgement, wouldn’t patronise, they were genuine.  I recognise now it was motherly and caring.   I was offered a massive support system; I am so grateful for the foundation they gave me for my new life.  The other ladies and families that I met along the way have had such a lasting impact too.  There was one resident who used make my children sandwiches.  We make the same sandwiches at home now with the fillings she used.  It’s a comfort.

 

I’ve come such a long way, I’ve changed so much, my thinking, my reaction to things and people.  I am a better communicator. I know people don’t have an ulterior motive towards me now.  They never did I suppose, it was just what I believed at the time.  My mind is much healthier.

 

I’m able to counsel those around me.   A very close friend of mine who I caught up with recently couldn’t believe it when she saw me.  I’ve been able to share what I have learned, with her and with others.  Imagine being pregnant and feeling like you’ve no rights over your pregnancy.  I didn’t even understand about nursing bras, I’ve been able to share this with her and others, helping to empower other women.

 

I’m working full-time, I’m running a home, I go to the gym.  My life is busy but me and my children are so much happier.   I recognise the time I spend with them is quality over quantity.  The fear I felt has now become my strength.  If you try and fail, it’s ok but if you don’t even try how will you ever know….

 

For Lancashire-based support, please go to Key Unlocking Futures website www.keycharity.org.uk/help-and-support/domestic-abuse-support/ call South Ribble and Chorley domestic abuse helpline on 01772 435865 for free, confidential advice seven days a week.

 

Alternatively, if you are concerned about someone who may be at risk of domestic abuse, phone the free National Domestic Abuse Helpline in confidence, 24 hours a day, on 0808 200024 or visit www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk.